Dearest Everett,
One day, I took a warm bath. Gazing with gratitude and awe at my belly protruding from the water, I couldn't help but contrast the peace I felt with the anxiety of the previous Spring, when I had sat in that same tub, looked down at those same toes, and cried...My tears mixing with the soapy water and my heart aching for you. And in at that moment, I wished that I could send a letter back in time, filled with hope and warmth for that 'last-year-me'. Because you were RIGHT THERE. And I placed my hands over you and took a deep breath.
As your due date approached (March 30th), I wrapped things up at work and said my farewells, a twinge of sadness in my heart to leave the job I loved, but an enormous feeling of excitement and anticipation for your arrival. And relief! It flooded over me like a rush of water after spring rains. I looked forward to getting more rest, and to finally focus 100% of my energy on you.
Your Grammy Leslie flew all the way from Kuwait about 3 weeks before, and set up shop in our guest room to wait for your arrival. I truly cherished our time together. We had so much fun setting up your room, shopping for last minute items, and putting the finishing touches on your closet. As the days kept coming and you kept staying, we found other things to occupy our time.
We watched movies, played games, and went out to eat. We read books, completed crafts and went to the YMCA. We took dance classes and floated in water aerobics, and walked on the treadmills. Once, we went to a hip hop class, and I laughed out loud wondering what other people thought of us- a petite red-headed grandma and a pregnant girl with a huge belly, trying to cryp walk to Eminem.
Everywhere we went, people would grin and nod, or ask when I was due, or take a guess as to whether you'd be a girl or a boy. Eyes grew big as saucers, and lips parted into a sympathetic smile when I said I was due 'three days ago'.
My due date came and went. I had prepared myself for the possibility that you may take your sweet time arriving in the world, and so, each night, after prayers for you, eyeballing the hospital bags, and steeling myself for a painful awakening, I would say out loud, "well, we might have a baby tonight!". And then in the morning, it would be a new day, and you would still be cozy inside with no sign of change. And I would lumber out of bed, reach up to the sky and yawn, and say, "oh well, baby will come when baby is ready", and pasted a smile on my face. I trusted you. I had waited so long for you...what was a few more days?
Your daddy was getting anxious for your arrival. He would tell you emphatically every night- 'ok baby, we're all ready, you can come now!'. When the time came to schedule the induction at 6 days post due, we went home from that doc's appointment giddy and nervous! We went on one last date, just the two of us. We dipped goodies in chocolate fondue at the restaurant downtown, and afterwards, your daddy stood sentinel as I climbed into our car, other vehicles rushing by. I had the fleeting thought that he would protect us like that, his little family, for the rest of our days.
I hardly slept that night. It was like Christmas Eve x5,000. The next day we watched a bit of LDS General Conference and double and triple checked the hospital bags. And at the last minute, I kept thinking of more things to throw into the car, and wouldn't you know it, we raced to the hospital after all! If only to keep our 7:00 appointment (er, 7:15). As we left our little house, I knew that the next time I entered its walls, I would be a mother. We would have a baby. YOU would be with us.
I couldn't wait to meet you. To know you. To love you even more. The waiting was over.
-xoxo
love always, your mama
One day, I took a warm bath. Gazing with gratitude and awe at my belly protruding from the water, I couldn't help but contrast the peace I felt with the anxiety of the previous Spring, when I had sat in that same tub, looked down at those same toes, and cried...My tears mixing with the soapy water and my heart aching for you. And in at that moment, I wished that I could send a letter back in time, filled with hope and warmth for that 'last-year-me'. Because you were RIGHT THERE. And I placed my hands over you and took a deep breath.
As your due date approached (March 30th), I wrapped things up at work and said my farewells, a twinge of sadness in my heart to leave the job I loved, but an enormous feeling of excitement and anticipation for your arrival. And relief! It flooded over me like a rush of water after spring rains. I looked forward to getting more rest, and to finally focus 100% of my energy on you.
Your Grammy Leslie flew all the way from Kuwait about 3 weeks before, and set up shop in our guest room to wait for your arrival. I truly cherished our time together. We had so much fun setting up your room, shopping for last minute items, and putting the finishing touches on your closet. As the days kept coming and you kept staying, we found other things to occupy our time.
We watched movies, played games, and went out to eat. We read books, completed crafts and went to the YMCA. We took dance classes and floated in water aerobics, and walked on the treadmills. Once, we went to a hip hop class, and I laughed out loud wondering what other people thought of us- a petite red-headed grandma and a pregnant girl with a huge belly, trying to cryp walk to Eminem.
Everywhere we went, people would grin and nod, or ask when I was due, or take a guess as to whether you'd be a girl or a boy. Eyes grew big as saucers, and lips parted into a sympathetic smile when I said I was due 'three days ago'.
My due date came and went. I had prepared myself for the possibility that you may take your sweet time arriving in the world, and so, each night, after prayers for you, eyeballing the hospital bags, and steeling myself for a painful awakening, I would say out loud, "well, we might have a baby tonight!". And then in the morning, it would be a new day, and you would still be cozy inside with no sign of change. And I would lumber out of bed, reach up to the sky and yawn, and say, "oh well, baby will come when baby is ready", and pasted a smile on my face. I trusted you. I had waited so long for you...what was a few more days?
Your daddy was getting anxious for your arrival. He would tell you emphatically every night- 'ok baby, we're all ready, you can come now!'. When the time came to schedule the induction at 6 days post due, we went home from that doc's appointment giddy and nervous! We went on one last date, just the two of us. We dipped goodies in chocolate fondue at the restaurant downtown, and afterwards, your daddy stood sentinel as I climbed into our car, other vehicles rushing by. I had the fleeting thought that he would protect us like that, his little family, for the rest of our days.
I hardly slept that night. It was like Christmas Eve x5,000. The next day we watched a bit of LDS General Conference and double and triple checked the hospital bags. And at the last minute, I kept thinking of more things to throw into the car, and wouldn't you know it, we raced to the hospital after all! If only to keep our 7:00 appointment (er, 7:15). As we left our little house, I knew that the next time I entered its walls, I would be a mother. We would have a baby. YOU would be with us.
I couldn't wait to meet you. To know you. To love you even more. The waiting was over.
-xoxo
love always, your mama
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