Dearest Everett,
After the long work of labor, a somewhat scary delivery, and the joy at your birth, we were all exhausted. After we were all taken care of, they put me in a wheelchair and I held you in a warm blanket as we rolled from delivery to the recovery wing. I felt like an absolute queen holding you, my precious boy, and we made the journey down the hallway with a giant, tired smile plastered to my puffy face.
We spent the next few days in the hospital. It was a busy place. Many people came to check on you. You were a champion! You had to learn so much about the world. You experienced breathing and eating, lights and loud noises and diapers and clothes and crying. We worked together on nursing. You were so sleepy that your daddy had to wiggle your arms and rub your head to help you stay alert and eating.
You endured tests and pokes and temperature checks, and your wonderful doc said that you were healthy and strong. What a blessing that was. No one could believe that you were 9 lbs at birth! You were long and skinny. And everyone said you looked just like your daddy. We could have taken you home sooner, but my doctor wanted me to stay an extra day for monitoring. We came with you to watch your first bath at the nurses station. They kept you under nice warm lamps and worked slowly and gently.
We had to keep track of your feeds, pee and poop on a little white board for the nurses. They offered to take you for a while to let us sleep, but I didn't want you out of my sight. Only once did they take you away for a test they couldn't perform in the room, and I remember inspecting your tiny fingernails when they brought you back to our room, because I knew it was you by the way they were shaped-just like your daddy's. Strange, but true.
I felt a vague emptiness in my abdomen, and though you were no longer tethered to me, I felt we should be connected. You belonged with me. I kept thinking that you had only ever known being close to me and hearing my heartbeat and feeling my warmth. I couldn't even bear to swaddle you and put you in the bassinet beside our bed. So I kept you skin to skin on my chest almost 24/7. I would sleep lightly for a while and then wake up to just stare at your tiny chest rising and falling and listen to the high squeaky sounds you made.
Your daddy and I were so in awe at your perfection. We had a queen sized hospital bed, and your daddy stayed with us the whole time. He changed all of your diapers because it was very difficult for me to shift positions. He never left my side. He was my strength. He was so great at calming you and knew just how to hold you. You liked to suck on his pinky finger. Seeing him with you made my heart swell to bursting. I had always imagined our sweet child in his strong arms. He was a wonderful father from the start.
I remember laying awake thinking and praying about your name. We were fairly sure about our choice but wanted to make sure before we officially told anyone. Your Grammy Leslie, Grandpa Terry and Gramma Krissy came to visit and brought gifts for you. They were all so excited to see and hold you, our little angel boy.
Those days are a blur in my mind of hushed moments and dim lighting and pain and healing and you. YOU! You were finally there in my arms. I could see you and touch you. Your slow-motion finger grasp and your jerky movements and your soft skin. I traced your features with my fingertip over and over. And your eyes. Your eyes were bright from the beginning. You'd stare into mine and it seemed you wanted to tell me something terribly important about heaven. Your eyes are deep with the wisdom and intelligence of an ancient soul.
On your coming home day, we dressed you carefully and put you in the car seat which seemed to swallow you up. I thought it was incredible that you were actually our child and they were going to let us take you home! Grammy and your daddy loaded up the car and then we walked out of the hospital to show you the world. I sat by you on the drive home and I think I've never seen your daddy drive so slowly.
I am so blessed to be your mama. Thank you for coming to our family.
I love you.
-xo
After the long work of labor, a somewhat scary delivery, and the joy at your birth, we were all exhausted. After we were all taken care of, they put me in a wheelchair and I held you in a warm blanket as we rolled from delivery to the recovery wing. I felt like an absolute queen holding you, my precious boy, and we made the journey down the hallway with a giant, tired smile plastered to my puffy face.
We spent the next few days in the hospital. It was a busy place. Many people came to check on you. You were a champion! You had to learn so much about the world. You experienced breathing and eating, lights and loud noises and diapers and clothes and crying. We worked together on nursing. You were so sleepy that your daddy had to wiggle your arms and rub your head to help you stay alert and eating.
You endured tests and pokes and temperature checks, and your wonderful doc said that you were healthy and strong. What a blessing that was. No one could believe that you were 9 lbs at birth! You were long and skinny. And everyone said you looked just like your daddy. We could have taken you home sooner, but my doctor wanted me to stay an extra day for monitoring. We came with you to watch your first bath at the nurses station. They kept you under nice warm lamps and worked slowly and gently.
We had to keep track of your feeds, pee and poop on a little white board for the nurses. They offered to take you for a while to let us sleep, but I didn't want you out of my sight. Only once did they take you away for a test they couldn't perform in the room, and I remember inspecting your tiny fingernails when they brought you back to our room, because I knew it was you by the way they were shaped-just like your daddy's. Strange, but true.
I felt a vague emptiness in my abdomen, and though you were no longer tethered to me, I felt we should be connected. You belonged with me. I kept thinking that you had only ever known being close to me and hearing my heartbeat and feeling my warmth. I couldn't even bear to swaddle you and put you in the bassinet beside our bed. So I kept you skin to skin on my chest almost 24/7. I would sleep lightly for a while and then wake up to just stare at your tiny chest rising and falling and listen to the high squeaky sounds you made.
Your daddy and I were so in awe at your perfection. We had a queen sized hospital bed, and your daddy stayed with us the whole time. He changed all of your diapers because it was very difficult for me to shift positions. He never left my side. He was my strength. He was so great at calming you and knew just how to hold you. You liked to suck on his pinky finger. Seeing him with you made my heart swell to bursting. I had always imagined our sweet child in his strong arms. He was a wonderful father from the start.
I remember laying awake thinking and praying about your name. We were fairly sure about our choice but wanted to make sure before we officially told anyone. Your Grammy Leslie, Grandpa Terry and Gramma Krissy came to visit and brought gifts for you. They were all so excited to see and hold you, our little angel boy.
Those days are a blur in my mind of hushed moments and dim lighting and pain and healing and you. YOU! You were finally there in my arms. I could see you and touch you. Your slow-motion finger grasp and your jerky movements and your soft skin. I traced your features with my fingertip over and over. And your eyes. Your eyes were bright from the beginning. You'd stare into mine and it seemed you wanted to tell me something terribly important about heaven. Your eyes are deep with the wisdom and intelligence of an ancient soul.
On your coming home day, we dressed you carefully and put you in the car seat which seemed to swallow you up. I thought it was incredible that you were actually our child and they were going to let us take you home! Grammy and your daddy loaded up the car and then we walked out of the hospital to show you the world. I sat by you on the drive home and I think I've never seen your daddy drive so slowly.
I am so blessed to be your mama. Thank you for coming to our family.
I love you.
-xo
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